I have struggled with what manhood actually means for most of my life. Like most black men in America my father endured a trauma that I didn’t quite understand until I was older, that left him emotionally removed from his own children. The best male example I knew was my grandfather, I lost when I was 12 years old. As a result, I learned what I perceived to be manly, on the streets and from friends. My father never taught me the strength and vulnerability of men showing emotion because he didn’t know himself. I spent years resenting and vowing to never be that way until that insecurity crept into relationships with loved ones. I didn’t realize at a young age that choosing to ignore the pain and insecurities I held, only left them to be healed at a later time. I can’t say I’m perfect in anyway, but I am grateful to have been made aware of my own trauma through my own mistakes and missteps, and to actively decide to bring them to light and healing. It’s a process of being triggered at almost every turn. A process that I have accepted as the work that must be done to shift the cycle of trauma and emotionally removed black men in my family. Submission by @jeremym.green