Category: Uncategorized

Men in particular can find it hard to talk about what they are feeling and often won't want to talk at all. It is important we make it clear that no judgement is being passed and that they have the choice between us offering solutions or simply just listening.

We know it can be hard to reassure people in a negative mindset and so we are going to discuss some of the best ways to support someone who is struggling in the hopes that the men in your life feel they can open up.

Common Mistakes

For people who haven't experienced mental health issues like anxiety or depression or perhaps have don’t have a grasp on how to manage it, being faced with someone struggling can leave you in an awkward position.

Many may even be under the false belief that mental health issues are not as bad as the person may be letting on. In this case, we'd like to remind you that it's usually the complete opposite.
Men tend to put on a facade around others – pretending like everything is fine when in reality they are desperate for help.

Thinking the person can just get over it or feel better overnight is one of the main things that make depression worse. Here's what NOT to say to a loved one who's struggling.

“It's all in your head"

No, it isn't. There could very well be a hugely traumatic event that catalysed these feelings. Similarly, built up over time – mental health can just keep declining. The more time men spend suppressing these emotions instead of getting help, the worse it can become.

“Cheer up"

Anyone with depression would love it if it was that simple. Even though there can be good days and bad days – even then the negativity isn't just forgotten about. Underneath that happy face are the true emotions just waiting to break through when no one is around.

Oftentimes things that make depression worse also mean it's harder to do the things we love and that would usually 'cheer us up' – so no matter how hard someone tries, it's just not that simple.

“I'm sure it's not that bad"

Everyone experiences mental health challenges differently. Some may be impacted more greatly than others and some will struggle to manage these feelings.

Just because you have down days and come out the other side, doesn't mean it's the same for your loved ones. Telling them this almost dismisses their feelings and can leave that person feeling more alone than ever.

“Look on the bright side"

It's all well and good thinking there is a bright side. However, for most suffering – one of the hardest things to do is to focus on the good. Instead, an overwhelming feeling of dread and burden clouds above – overshadowing any glimpse of light you may expect them to feel grateful for.

“Just think positive"

Similarly to the above point, when someone is so filled with negative thoughts, they begin to believe this is the only life for them. Intrusive thoughts and negative feelings begin to feel more real than anything else and can take over.

Even thinking positively can often lead to overthinking and withdrawing for things and people they love.

Ways You Can Support Someone With Depression

Now that we know a few of the things NOT to say, let's focus on some more positive and effective ways you can show your support.

“I'm here for you"

This is one of the most important things you can say. Being there for someone means being available to talk when they need it but also giving them space when they need it too. Just knowing you have someone to rely on can be a huge weight off their shoulders.

No matter what they need, you are opening yourself up as a safe space and reassuring them that they are not alone in this. Talking can be hard for men, so let your person know you're there for whatever they need.

“I believe you"

A lot of men feel like they need to be strong and so they bottle up their emotions instead of talking about how they're really feeling. By saying this, we are validating how he feels and letting him know his feelings are valid.

It can be easy to doubt yourself when you're feeling low, so this is a way of showing your support and boosting his confidence.

“Thank you for telling me"

This one might seem small, but it can make a world of difference. When someone opens up about their mental health, it's a big deal. It takes guts and courage to do so and we should be grateful that they trust us enough to confide in us.

Saying thank you reinforces that what they're doing is okay and that we are not judging them. This simple act of kindness can go a long way in making them feel comfortable talking about their mental health with us.

“I'm sorry"

We all make mistakes and sometimes we say things without thinking about how they might affect someone else. If you accidentally say something that upsets or hurts your loved one, don't be afraid to apologise.

This shows them that you care about their feelings and want to make things right. It also shows them that it's okay to make mistakes – we all do it.

“How are you really doing?"

Asking open-ended questions is a great way to start a conversation about mental health. It allows your loved one to share as much or as little as they want and gives you a better understanding of how they're feeling.

It's important to follow up with this question and really listen to the answer. Showing genuine interest in their mental health will make them feel cared for and appreciated.

“Is there anything I can do to help?"

This is another great question to ask because it shows that you're willing to help in any way you can. Sometimes people suffering from depression just need someone to lend a helping hand.

It could be something as small as running an errand for them or taking the dog for a walk. Other times there may be nothing at all. Not everyone knows what they need right away. Whatever it is, let them know you're there and willing to help out however and whenever you can.

Not A Talker? Try This

If your loved one isn't the type to talk about their feelings, that's okay. Not everyone is and that doesn't make them any less valid. Here are a few things you can do to support someone who struggles to open up about their mental health:

• Spend time with them doing activities they enjoy
• Listen to them without judgement
• Offer help with self-care tasks or day-to-day chores
• Encourage them to seek professional help if they're struggling
• Point them in the direction of something that may have helped you in the past

Mental health is often seen as a taboo topic, especially for men. Society tells us we need to be strong and not show weakness. These are some of the things that make depression worse and can make it hard for men to reach out for help when they're struggling. As loved ones, it's important that we do what we can to support them.

Talking about it truthfully can be traumatic. It's often triggering for someone to express their thoughts if they aren't ready to do so. Just making the effort to make their lives a little easier, giving them less to worry about and proving their worth is a great start to healing.

Avoiding The Things That Make Depression Worse

These are just a few of the many ways you can show your support for someone struggling with mental health. Just remember to be patient, kind, and understanding. We all have mental health and some of us need a little more help than others.

If you or someone you know is struggling, there are resources available. Your GP can offer tailored advice as well as approach charities like Mind and ourselves for safe spaces to express and relate to others on the same journey.

No one should have to suffer from mental health alone. We are all in this together. Let's continue to support each other and break the stigma surrounding mental health.

The answer, quite frankly, is that there is no such thing as taking too many days to better your wellbeing.

Employers are going to have to realise that they can also benefit from allowing employees to take time off. It’s becoming clear that businesses should be encouraging this type of behaviour rather than stigmatising it.

The risks of burnout and poor mental health in the workplace greatly outweigh the risks of a few days off. So why is it still so frowned upon?

Workplace Stress

There are many reasons relating to work that cause people to suffer from poor mental health. According to recent studies, the top reasons are:

Unclear job expectations

When you feel like you’re working your absolute hardest and getting only criticism or nothing at all back – it is definitely going to put you down. If you feel like you can’t please your boss or meet their expectations, it’s important to have a discussion about this before it crushes your confidence. Chances are, it’s not you – it’s them.

Lack of social support

Having someone to confide in or speak to about problems is crucial for healthy working relationships and a positive environment. If you’re not comfortable with anyone at work, try and build bridges outside of office hours or confide in friends and family that may have had a similar experience.

Workload

An unmanageable workload is one of the most common reasons for stress in the workplace and wondering how many mental health days is too many. If you’re constantly under pressure and struggling to complete tasks – it can quickly take over and affect your home life too.

Lack of control

This usually comes hand in hand with the workload. If you’re not given the opportunity to have a say in how you work or what tasks you complete, it can feel very monotonous and unchallenging. This can lead to boredom and feeling like your job has no purpose. Employers are at great risk of losing loyal employees for this reason.

If any of these resonate with you, it is important to start looking at your workplace and see what, if anything, can be done to change the situation. If not, it may be time to consider a new job.

When To Book A Day Off

Ideally, we want to be proactive about our mental health. This means not leaving it until a crisis hits before doing something about it, but sustaining a level that works for you.

Firstly, booking a day in advance will guarantee your workplace has someone to cover your role. For many people, the stress of coming back to missed deadlines can actually be the main reason for not taking time off in the first place.

Also, planning your time gives you a chance to organise things that make you happy – utilising this time off as best you can and ensuring it is the most beneficial for when you return.

However, we understand that bad days can also creep up unexpectedly. If you feel particularly overwhelmed, depressed or run down – don’t be afraid to stop and take a day to recover.

Just as your body needs to fight off illness, you need rest and proper time to reflect on your wellbeing in order to get back to where you were.

How Many Mental Health Days Is Too Many?

This question really baffles us.

Why? Because we fully understand that you can’t always control how you feel. Through no fault of your own, one week may be the worst week ever, even after a day of fun and laughter.

So just like you have no say over getting ill, taking time off for this is no different. It is important we remember to slow things down when our bodies tell us to.

Mental health should always come first. So if you’re finding that stress has taken over and no matter how much time you take to recover, it is never enough – it’s time to rethink.

Although, we are aware that statutory sick pay in the UK only offers a fraction of the average salary. It’s not enough to live on with a mortgage or rent to pay as well as yourself and perhaps a family to look after.

Due to this, more and more people are forcing themselves to ‘power on’ and simply repress their feelings until they get home – breaking down and failing to do even the most basic of self-care tasks.

This worry sits even more strongly with men who, for the most part, still sit as the main breadwinner in most families. The thought of losing out on even a day’s pay is enough to make them suffer in silence.

The reality is that taking a small amount of time away early on in your journey can prevent you from taking multiple days or even weeks and months off down the line.

Don’t let it reach a crisis, because that is the point where it becomes harder to dig your way out again.

Why Aren’t Companies Promoting This?

Before Covid hit us like a tonne of bricks, around 25% of people admitted to experiencing poor mental health. Today, we’re looking at that figure being more over the 50% mark.

We’re entering our second pandemic of this generation. And it’s not one that can be fixed with vaccines.

It goes without saying that employee wellness is critical to a business running at full productivity and achieving the results it desires. So the fact that people are still asking how many mental health days is too many shows that these statistics haven’t quite sunk in yet.

Promoting and encouraging time off for well-being comes with a host of benefits for the employer as well as the employee.

Improved Productivity

Healthier employees mean happier employees. Allowing people to take time off will lead them to become more resilient and capable of carrying out their roles to a high standard.

It will also enable them to improve their problem-solving skills and have a clearer head when coming to work each day. Reduced stress and worry result in increased productivity and engagement, in turn producing a better return for the business.

A More Positive Workplace Culture

When an organisation is open and proactive about looking after its staff, it immediately creates a better working environment.

This results in improved communication, greater collaboration and overall higher morale. We hope you’d agree when we say that it’s far more likely we’d do better and be more motivated in a place we feel accepted and listened to.

Reduced Absenteeism

The main concern for most employers is absenteeism. It leads to deadlines being missed and losing skilled, loyal team members. However, encouraging mental health days will almost certainly result in less time being taken off long-term.

In fact, studies have shown that for every pound spent on workplace wellness programs, there is a return of £5 due to increased productivity and decreased absenteeism.

Having the ability to take time off without feeling guilty or stressed means that they can tackle issues before they need weeks or months to recover.

So How Many Mental Health Days Is Too Many?

There is no such thing.

Honestly, aside from your physical health, this will always be one of the most important things. Looking after your body in every way will allow you to enjoy every aspect of life as well as be able to work and live as your best self.

A few days here and there are going to be unnoticeable in the long run in terms of money or employment.

However, those couple of weeks a year could be the difference between life and death for many. They could be the reason you see the most change in yourself or your loved ones in a year’s time.

Remember, it’s an opportunity to be proactive rather than reacting to a crisis.